The Key To My Heart

Have you ever thought about how loving Jesus is an all-in adventure?

Until recently, I had never given it much thought.

Being with God is a commitment made with very little idea of exactly what will end up happening on the stairway to Heaven. But it will always be worth it in the end.

Last Sunday in church, I kept asking God about this fundraising stuff, because not a lot is happening and I kind of need it to be happening.

He said, “I want this to be a victory for me.”

Well, okay, I can deal with that. Victories for God are always good things.

I’ve been working a lot recently, which is a blessing from the Lord because my last day is this Friday and I’m going to need the paycheck. One day before work when I was running a little late, I took a shower.

I asked God, “What exactly do you want a victory over?”

He said, “I want it to be a victory in your heart.”

“Oh,” I said, because the fact that He wants my heart is something I am still trying to get my head around. “Well, go ahead. Do whatever needs to be done,” I told Him. I went into my room and I kept on repeating that, just so He knew He had permission to do whatever He wanted.

‘Whatever he wanted’ turned out to be showing me a vision of Him, standing in front of me and holding out His hand. In my own hands, there was a key, not unlike the one I received from Keys For The Journey.

On it, it had the word TRUST written.

Instantly I knew where this was going.

“Do I have to do this now?” I asked.

“No.” Well, okay, I should have known that.

“…how long are you gonna wait there?”

He smiled at me. “As long as it takes.”

The interesting thing about God is that He knows everything that’s gonna happen anyway and so it makes me feel better that He already knows my decision.

I stood there in my room for what was only about two minutes but felt like a second of eternity. This was a choice I had to make all on my own- and I already knew the Almighty’s opinion on it.

I thought of all the people in the Bible who had decided to trust God despite their surroundings and misgivings. One such example came to me in the story of Shadrach, Mishach and Abednigo, the three boys thrown into the fire. They had decided to trust God even against a fiery, painful death, but had made that choice and stuck with it anyway.

“I am the Lord,” Jesus said to me. “Why would I harm your trust? I keep my promises.”

He did have a point. If there is one thing in this world that I can rely on, it’s God.

It was still really difficult to make a decision. My human brain kept thinking of ways this could go wrong.

My spirit-brain kept going, “Give it to Him!! Give it!!!”

You can imagine how weird that was to have two opposing forces inside you at a time.

The interesting thing was, there was no judgement in that place with Jesus, no expectations. He left it up to me. Whatever happened, He would still be on my side. He would still be with me.

With the knowledge that I was very probably going to be late to work, I said, “I have to go to work.”

Jesus, however, does not take excuses.

Finally, with a great heaving sigh, I tried one last time. “Do you think you could slow down time to let me think about this decision?”

“Nope,” came the very simple answer.

Fine. It was either make the decision, or do not.

Knowing I wouldn’t get this done otherwise, I lifted my arm, holding the key. It was like a weight. Something heavy, but something that needed to be protected.

I placed it into the hands of my Savior without any more dithering and with a lot of difficulty.

Jesus took it, cradling the key in His hands and lifted it to His chest, next to His heart. I felt an overwhelming sense of being held more gently, calmly, and with more kindness than I think I have ever felt in my life. Like I’d just given Him the most precious thing in the entirety of His creation.

Jesus looked me in the eye.

“I will guard this so carefully.“

I fell to my knees.

Luckily God thinks ahead and there was a convenient blanket on the floor to cushion me, so I was safe.

The overwhelming feeling of love and safeness was enough to make anyone cry.

“You have been hurt by many, and your trust has been broken before,” He said to me while I was sobbing like a child on the floor. “Thank you for giving this to Me. It is a precious gift.”

He knelt beside me.

“I am not a God who breaks his promises,” he said. “I am not a God who fails.”

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I repeat that to myself just so I can remember that His faithfulness to me is greater than I know or even can imagine.

His promise is all I need for anything. And that’s all you need, too. Consider buying your own key so that God can show you how He wants to unlock your heart.

And in doing so, He’ll give you His heart, too.