It’s So Much Better Your Way (2/2)

God, these blessings are so abundant- how can I even write about them? How do I put into words the measure of your glory and greatness, how do I tell them what my story is? 

God- would you write my story for me?

Who is above all nations?

I am. 

Who has returning glory?

I do. 

Who looked at the seas and made them shimmer?

I did. 

Who is it today that stands before you, and proclaims that you are My Beloved?

I do. 

Ever since the beginning, Sophia, I have sought you out. 

May we never lose our wonder, my Beloved-

Our song is written into my eternity, the greatest love story One can come up with. 

Do you not know the depths of what I would do for you? 

Look at the earth, my darling, and tell me that I would not remove it from its place for you. 

Or tell me I would not stop the sun in its place just to bring you joy;

Tell me I have not seen you through your lifetime, 

Tell me I have not known the depths of your soul. 

Your story is one I have Written,

One I have known. 

I am weaving the tapestry that makes up your life;

I am stringing together your tune with fine instruments. 

You have knitted me in my mother’s womb-

Knowing me, setting me apart. 

I am crafting you, elegantly, with the master’s touch. 

Don’t you know the lengths of the nations I would go to for you?

Don’t you know glass is made in fire?

Irreplaceable,

I am making you. 

Irreplaceable-

One of a kind. 

Unique,

Sought after,

Wanted,

Irreplaceable. 

Daughter, I have loved you since MY beginning. 

Don’t you know? You have never been alone

You have never been abandoned. 

You have never been rejected, 

Or turned away-

You have been sought after before time. 

Don’t you know?

Don’t you know?

Can’t you hear me calling,

Can’t you know I am near?

Draw close to me, 

So that you may know. 

I saved Israel in the desert,

When Moses asked My name. 

I knew the three in the fire,

I saw them and heard their cries. 

If I saw them,

If I saw them and did the impossible-

How much more could I walk with you?

You are not hard to pursue,

You are easy to love. 

If I saw my people in the desert

And carried their cries away in my heart,

How much more can I hear you?

You are next to my heart,

You are in me. 

I delight in you,

I persevere for you. 

Each laugh and smile,

Every day you choose joy,

I laugh, I smile with you. 

Each day in the sadness, 

In the hardness of this world,

I am there with you in the rain. 

Each part of you I would die for-

Each part of you, intricately made,

I have died for. 

Don’t you know?

My love is too great a magnitude to be measured in words,

To be felt in a single feeling. 

I know you,

And I am big enough. 

Don’t you know?

I can satisfy all things;

I can take away all things,

And I will choose to continue loving you through it all. 

---

In the Bible, it says that the Holy Spirit prays over us with groaning that cannot be heard. This is only part of that prayer, a love story being told and written through time that God is never going to end. 

The covenant with Abraham was made with me in mind. God chose to save his people because of the eventuality that I would choose him. 

 

God has made me with intentionality. God has placed me here with the utmost care. God made me with delicate instruments and is still creating me into the person he wants me to be. God has been faithful to me for ever and ever- since a time that I don’t even know. 

The faithfulness of God has been with me my whole life. His love and his grace have followed me everywhere. 

And in turn, I now follow him everywhere. When I wrote that blog (admittedly a month ago), that was actually a couple days after I received salvation. I got saved. On a Friday night. I thought I knew what religion was. I thought I knew who God was. I thought I knew how to be a Christian, and that I was going to Heaven if I ever died. But it turns out I was wrong!

That night, I really looked at God in the face and said, “The Bible says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God- okay, yes, that’s me if you’ve ever met someone fitting that description. I’m not enough for you to love, I’m not important, not significant, not worthy, and having this argument is absolutely pointless because we both know these things are true. Sin is what makes me this way.”

It’s true. I wrote that all down in my journal. Every word of that is quoted straight from my hand.

And you know what God said to that? I brought him to a court of law and was my own prosecutor and you know what he said to me?

”I see no sin in you.”

When he said that to me, I was so shocked that I had to stop writing for a solid three minutes. God actually interrupted my last sentence. 

I wrote about a page in my journal screaming about how not good enough I was, how sinful I was. And God, in his fashion, took up the next two and a half to tell me that I was wrong- in his authoritative, loving, way. 

Some highlights from those pages are:

”I made a covenant with your forefather a long time ago, thinking only of you.

“The blood of Jesus is there to wash the sin away. How can you go out into town and proclaim something you don’t believe has worked for you? Why wouldn’t it work for you? Why wouldn’t you be included?

”You’ve been invited to the kingdom just as everyone else has. You cannot look at white robes and TELL ME that they are rags.

“You’re covered in love. It’s good enough for me. Why isn’t it good enough for you?

“I PAID FOR YOU. There are no returns or exchanges. What, you think I would want your sin back? You think I would look at you and say, ‘I want her sin back, because it is less detestable to me than her’? ME, the ONE who hates unrighteousness, the God who loves justice?

”You’ve given me yourself. Now take the gift I am giving you- the gift of life! My darling! You are precious in my sight! You think I would not die for you ten times over? I would suffer for you just so you can have your freedom, I would do all these things for you, I HAVE DONE THESE THINGS FOR YOU, and yet I would still say, ’You are worth it.’

“This is my truth. Do you believe it?

“Do you believe Me?” 

My answer, as one can imagine, was a shocked, astounded, unable-to-believe-this-was-real, one hundred percent, “Yes!”

Christianity isn’t about doing the right thing, or knowing God. It’s about understanding and believing that God has washed me clean. That he’s made me new- that he died and loved me and still loves me no matter what. I kind of can’t believe I didn’t see it before- but honestly, I can at the same time. 

I had asked Jesus into my heart before- but I had never really believed he was there until February 5th, 2021. And at 11 at night, at that!

That just goes to show that God is everywhere and anywhere all the time. He is always pursuing us. He is always pursuing you. 

Take your time to understand what the gospel really is. Because I thought I knew what it was for eighteen years, but it’s so much better than I ever imagined.